So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
