nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
