He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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