so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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