Non-Jews are for practice
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
