she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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