after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Enjoy the penises
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
