if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He shit in the fireplace
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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