Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
