i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
