I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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