if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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