I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
