how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
