All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
