apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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