My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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