new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
