Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
