let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We need to rekindle our bromance
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
