Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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