Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
