My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
