that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
