You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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