Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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