I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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