did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
