my mouth tastes like poor choices
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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