I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
sex in a hospital.. check
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
