somebody snuck up and got me drunk
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize