I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
