Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
