At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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