Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
