so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
