I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize