Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
