I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
