do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
