weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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