So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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