I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
