I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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