What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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