My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
