watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
So many bounce houses so little time
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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