I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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