Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
