I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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