operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
