I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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