Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
