i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize