I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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