In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
When did angry sex become our thing?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize