just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
