Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
