He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
