yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
