Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize