That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize