the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
