Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
