It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
wanna go halves on a baby?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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