just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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