I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize