He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize