theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
